Pickle started rolling over, just a few times, but yesterday with Daddy he rolled over while he was getting his diaper changed, the first for Daddy's eyes.
What a crazy night at Awana.(Love and I had a stupid fight yesterday and then I went to Awana, still a little upset.) I have come to love my kids at church, very much. We have split the boys from the girls for most of the night with the 3-5th graders. It's really been nice. But for the last month or so the girls have been giving each other bad looks, calling each other names and some small threats have been going off. I have been disturbed by this and decided to confront all of them about it. It was a good thing, after some of the girls came to me to let me know the behind the scenes at home and that spills over into live outside! Man, my problems about who cleans what at home and what chores go to who really pale in comparison to the problems I hear from our girls at church. Most come from broken homes, one lives with Grandma and recently watched her uncle (that was living with them) get taken away in handcuffs. Her parents divorce is recently been final and her mom is re-marrying some guy. Another girl just found out that her parents are getting a divorce after so 10 years of being married. It breaks my heart to see the girls go through this. Our society has just decided that when things get hard, we can just call it quits. I don't believe that. I believe that you can marry anyone, you are going to have your ups and downs, but when you are down, it's that the person you want to share your inner most thoughts to? I think that marriage is sacred and today, to most people, they think they can just split when things aren't going their way. It hurts. I have a hard time looking at these situations. I know, some may say, well, you have been married before and now you have only been married for just over a year. I do know that. My life has changed so much in the last 5 years that it makes my head spin. But I have come away with knowledge. I have always thought that God taught me so much through my experiences. I know that I could marry anyone, as long as they are willing to work on the marriage with me. That was the problem in my first marriage. I wasn't important enough to fight for, and I have accepted that (not that it was easy). But this time, God truly blessed me with my life partner, my soul mate, my best friend. How wonderful! Being obedient has really been the way to go! It is really easy being married to someone who shares the same spirit, the same goals, the same values and the same dreams.
Back to what I was saying, some of my girls have a hard time at school and some of these girls have a little violence that has been accepted into who they are. we have been taking about when we don't like someone, what should we do? "Walk away, keep your distance and pray for them". Something that also surprises me is that most of my girls go to church, have been to church, are saved themselves. Most of them have some knowing about church, the Bible, God. But they haven't been taught the basics. We have some girls learning the books of the Bible and I have found out that they don't know how to look up verses in the Bible. So for the last three weeks we have been looking up scripture. If they don't get that at home, we have to teach them. I want to give these girls the tools they need. Reading the Bible has been on my mind for weeks now, how do I get the girls to know how important it is to read and memorize for the future. One day they will look back and now that God was guiding them into the lives He designed for them. i don't care if they remember me. I want them to have good memories of church, not being bullied while they were there. My whole thing about being in Children;s ministry (not my calling, really) is that I don't want someone telling them about God being in a box, that God has many sizes and shapes, colors, smells. I want them to know when you read and study your Bible, it's OK to highlight or underline it! Live can have so many more colors and smells for us to enjoy if we just let God work and let ourselves get out of the way.
I know this post is long and kind of a tangent, but it has been on my heart and mind and it needed out. Maybe someone needed to read this, I don't know. Maybe I'm just needing a cleanse of my heart. Thank you for taking the time and reading this, or just skimming it. It's not for everyone, but the ones close to me know how I feel, and sometimes this is just my diary. I feel safe here and I can share my heart. Please pray for the girls that I have a influence on and I have a heavy burden for them, I have a hand in the molding and pray I can be a good guide for them to look at in my life.
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